Murmurs

As I reflect back on these past few weeks, I realise how much complaining I have done... How the weather sucks, how my school isn't going the way I want to, how I have too much schoolwork, how I need to lose weight, how I'm uncertain about the future... etc, etc... I believe all of us are there at some points in our lives...

Philippians 2:14-16

Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;
Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.

Re-thinking...

Tears

I've been watching a couple of Hollywood films the last few days... Hulk, Jurrasic Park, Spiderman 3, Last Mohican... Lots of action, lots of science, lots of bloodshed... something however was making me go why am I watching people killing each other? maybe it was this verse...

Psalm 101:3 "I shall set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside: it shall not cleave to me"

Another thing, I've also seen how media can influence people a whole lot... Like telling people how great science is, telling them to believe that dinosaurs lived 65 million years ago, how getting revenge is ok...

How emotions are evoked through visuals and how this generation listens with its eyes and thinks with its feelings... No wonder so many people don't believe in a God who loves them dearly...

Somewhere along the way, media has filtered out any sense of reason to the spiritual realm... Computer graphics has killed imagination... People chasing elusive dreams, running after stardom... For what? Love, Fame, Money?

Attempts to be religious fail...

- Give money to the poor so that God will bless you more, isn't that selfish?

- Go on a mission trip far away and ask the church to sponsor you because you're running away from social and financial obligations, isn't that irresponsible?

- Ignore the people God has place around you to make a difference in their lives because you think they aren't worth the time and effort and you're caught up with your own problems, isn't that unloving?

Lord, help me to remember you... and do what you say...

So many questions racing around in my mind
To which the answers I'm trying to find
Uncertainty embraces every thought
Of the One whom I nearly forgot

Where the nails pierced His hands
Was I truly forgiven?
Did a crown of thorns save my soul?
Did a voice shouting out pave a way to heaven?

Do I still believe what I'm told?
He said trust me and you'll see a purpose for your life
I need guidance and direction in searching for the meaning of my life

This is reality, not hollywood...

Still complain you're fat? or unhappy?

Beyond Yourself

Past few weeks have been eventful... My big band played and rocked the house at the middlesex university "scratch festival"... The place was packed till the doors... After 85+ hours of composing, rehearsing, hard work finally paid off... Was a great day... Mentioned it to my mum that night... she however was more concerned about whether my pastor needed any help in moving house, especially with a new baby and all... Then it hit me, I needed to stop being so selfish, attending to my needs 1st then considering others... Sometimes I wonder why I complain about not having any inspiration in music making, about band members turning up late, about how no one appreciates the sophisticated artistry behind creating new skins for old songs..

Anyway, it amazes me how humans always look out for themselves 1st... Like in my case, though I wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that my pastor and his wife needed help moving, the weight of the matter only dawned on me when the phone call to home was made... Here were two individuals who had given all their love, time, basically their whole life in building up members in the church with the word of God... As I reflected how they made a difference in my life, I realised one thing about them... They made me know how much they cared instead of telling me how much they knew...

Another thing, my girlfriend hasn't seen her family in 2 years, she's surviving on her sister's and dad's income and working and studying at the same time so she can do her family proud... And she still finds the time to cook for me whenever she can... what more can I say... One of her flatmates has had a mum in prison, cheated on in relationships and her dad's near his death bed... Unsaved...

Yep, there may be a lot more stories to tell if I actually sit down and reflect... But sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder if I'm taking my blessed life for granted...