Finishing a race well...

Ok, for the past few months this theme has kept coming back to me... to be in this world but not of it... Maybe God's trying to tell me something... I dunno... here are a few verses to help...

"...the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one." 1 John 5:19

"...do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.... Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." Romans 12:2, 9

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world -- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life -- is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17

"Jesus answered, 'My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I should not be delivered to the Jews; but now My kingdom is not from here." John 18:36

"Friendship with the world is enmity to God." James 4:4

"...the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed." John 3:19-20

"...the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it." John 1:5
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness.... Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!" Isaiah 5:20-21

"He [Jesus] turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.'" Matthew 16:23

"Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust, and does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies." Psalm 40:4

"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.' Awake to righteousness, and do not sin...." 1 Corinthians 15:33-34

"My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent." Proverbs 1:10"Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on." Proverbs 4:14

"...all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:21

"Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. Those by the wayside are the ones who hear; then the devil comes and takes away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved. But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away. Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity. But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience." Luke 8:11-15

"... in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! "...all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. But you must continue in the things which you have learned..." 2 Timothy 3:1-14

In the world -- sharing His Truth and love - but not part of it!

"As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” John 20:21

“Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things?" 2 Corinthians 2:14-16

Those who refuse to love the world face hostility

"If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me. " John 15:18-21

"I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world." John 17:14-18

"...the time is coming that whoever kills you will think that he offers God service. And these things they will do to you because they have not known the Father nor Me." John 16:2-3

"Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life." 2 Corinthians 2:14-16

"Just as they have chosen their own ways,
And their soul delights in their abominations,
So will I choose their delusions and bring their fears on them;
Because when I called, no one answered,
When I spoke they did not hear;
But they did evil before My eyes
And chose that in which I do not delight."
Hear the word of the Lord, you who tremble at His Word;
Your brethren who hated you,
Who cast you out for My name's sake, said,
'Let the Lord be glorified that we may see your joy,'
But they shall be ashamed." Isaiah 66:3-4

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Choose your position - whom will you follow?

"Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.... "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit...." Ephesians 5:8-18

And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body...." Philippians 3:20

Been facing a bit of hostility and segregation from former close friends ever since I started taking Jesus a bit more seriously... Hard? yes... Impossible? No... Press on and keep showing others around you God's love...

True Story at XXXChurch...

Jennifer’s Testimony:

I’m so excited about what you are doing at XXX Church. I’ve got to share my story. It’s amazing that I am even sharing it, because I lived withmy “dirty little secret” for 11 years. That’s right, I struggled withporn addiction for ELEVEN years. And what’s even more surprising, I am a woman.

My parents gave their lives to Christ when I was four years old, so I grew up in the church. I never missed a service and was the “perfect” little church girl. Growing up, I was very insecure and tended to enjoy attention from any guy I could get it from. When I was 17, I started attending college which opened me up to the “real” world – no longer was I sheltered girl. My addiction started in the computer lab of the school library when no one was around (which was a lot believe it or not). It started as harmless chat with guys, which then turned sexual, and I was so naive of what was beginning to happen. Soon sexual chat turned to pictures of porn, and then to videos of porn, and then I was caught. My porn addiction grew as I got my own computer and internet connection in my bedroom. I was 18 years old, and I guess my parents were totally oblivious. Soon late nights at home were filled with a horrible secret that I kept completely silent. I still maintained the “perfect” girl on the outside and evenwas involved in ministry at my church. I was a musician, I was a youth worker in the youth group, and was involved in several other ministries in the church. The shame and guilt of my addiction was with me DAILY. I thought something was terribly wrong with me. Porn addiction was for men only right? I was terrified that someone would find me out, and my life would be over.

My porn and sex addiction even bled over into real life. At 19, I lost my virginity and began a stream of promiscuity that led up to my marriage – all the while still attending church and still keeping my “front” up. NO ONE KNEW – or so I thought. I even tried attending a Bible college, but my porn and sex addiction caught up with me when I was caught sleeping with a guy and I was asked to leave. I returned home ashamed and embarrassed.

You would think that was my bottom, but no – there was more to come.
At 22, I met the man I married. I sure lucked out, because he was a Godly man who must have seen something inside of me worth loving – I don’t know how, because I was such a broken person inside because of the secret sin I had now been hiding for five years.

I thought my porn addiction would go away when I got married. After all, sex was available to me any time I wanted it right? I was so wrong. It got worse. Soon, it began affecting my sex life with my husband. I thought he had no idea what was going on – but he must have.

At 24, we had our first son. I would say the porn addiction laid dormant for a little while and I thought I had it beat. Of course I hadn’t, because I had never dealt with the issues that kept me going back to porn. So soon after my son was born, I started the porn again. My husband must have been praying, and he one day asked me, “Something has me worried about you and computer and I can’t figure out what it is.” Of course I lied and TOTALLY covered it up, and even gave up porn for a short while because I was terrified he would find me out. But eventually, it came right back.

We moved to a new church, and got involved in ministry right away. The porn was like a cancer eating me alive. It has totally infiltrated my marriage totally unaware to my husband, and I finally hit rock bottom. The day came when my son – who was four at the time - walked in on me viewing porn. Although he did not see anything, he could have. I had to stop this cycle of addiction and sin. I had since had another son, and every day was just a gamble on whether or not I would get caught.

I decided the “dirty little secret” had to come out. The shame and guilt were so strong, I was so afraid of someone finding out – I kept this secret at ANY cost. And the cost was going to be my marriage, and my sons. First, I decided to tell my husband. I thought he would be so angry and leave me, or expose me to the world for the rotten person I was and had become. But he didn’t – he had such a forgiving spirit and told me that I needed to share my story with others. I decided to start an Addiction Group at church and decided that I wanted to help those like me, but in turn I was helping myself. Through this group (which only consisted of two women and myself), I shared my problem, and one of them ended up having the same problem as me. Weeks and weeks we worked through the issues which made us turn to porn, and slowly God had begun to heal us.

Something definitely had been wrong inside my heart, because I was not afraid of God being able to see all that I was doing. But just because people weren’t, somehow I made that okay in my mind. A few other people came my way – and I shared my story. Men and women alike opened themselves up to me sharing that they had the SAME problem! I was amazed at the number of women though, who struggle with porn addiction. I was not alone. With every person I shared my testimony with, my shame and guilt melted away and I felt like God was showing me how this could be used for good. Eleven years of struggling with porn was finally turning around – and it was making a difference one person at a time.

It has been one year since I have been porn free. Do I ever have temptations? SURE, we all do. Thoughts sometimes enter my mind….but I have made myself accountable with the X3 Watch software and now have two accountability partners who check up on me.
I hope my testimony helps someone else out there. God has called me to share it to help the unlikely addicts of porn – WOMEN. You are not alone, you just have to get past the shame and fear, and reach out and open your mouth and talk about it.

I have already gone to our pastor about Porn Sunday, and my burden toshare my testimony. Some in our church think that’s it’s too shocking of a topic to deal with, but I am living proof of the need – even in ministry.

XXX Church, don’t stop what you are doing. This must be talked about. Silence is what kept me in addiction for so many years, and now that the fear is gone, there is such freedom!

Jennifer
29 years old
Wife and Mom

The Crosswalk

Does this look familiar to you?

Sinner's Lament

Disclaimer: In no way is this poem referring to anyone in particular and in no way do I want to sound like I'm judging any one. Pictures below are me and my gf before Christ and after Christ... I tried to write this poem imagining myself as a non-Christian. All hypothetical...

You really must be joking
You assume I don't have ears
Yet tales of things you say and do
Get round for me to hear

You look, condemn and judge my life
With beady, questioning eyes
You call yourself a child of God
And each day pass me by

I hear the words "you heathen"
It's written on your face
It's why I'm not in church, no more
I couldn't stand the place

Did God not ever tell you
Judge not lest ye be judged?
Surprised I know a Bible verse?
Or too caught up with a grudge?

I've seen right through the fakeness
"Praise God!" on Sunday morn
When service stops you head your way
Cuss, swear and watch some porn

You quote all memory verses
Like some doctrinal star
I've always clocked you downing pints
And smoking at the bar

I'm living in lasciviousness
It's all I ever knew
At least there's no facade unlike a
Hypocrite like you

You think I want to be here?
Where sin and evil dwell?
You really think I'd rather spend
Eternity in hell?

The questions to this life
Mine's always in a mess
I wanted something genuine
Much more than just "God bless"

But no, you hang with friends
And organize your worship "shows"
2 blocks down I hurt and there's
No one to help me grow

You've preached on how to reach
The lost in distant lands
And yet you never love the ones
Beside you when you can

You argue with the leaders
'Bout litugical traditions
You're sorting annual business plans
Ignoring my condition

You want to look real pious
So you help out Uncle Dave
Hope for God to bless you with
10 fold of what you gave

What happened to agape love
When all I had was hate?
Just guess the reason why I'm in
This sad demential state

I did not hear the truth because
You've kept it all this while
Although one verse from Mark or John
Would've helped to make me smile

So go about your weekly chores
But know each passing day
Drifts by as you enjoy God's love
As my life wastes away

P.S. What would happen if this was a real non-Christian writing the poem and Christians got offended by the very people they are trying to reach? What happens to people left in the peripherary because Christians got offended at something a non-believer said?

Chosen

I'm amazed at how He loves me
Even though I trip and fall
I'm amazed at how He holds me
Whenever I cry and call

I'm amazed at His sufficient grace
Each time I'm stuck in sin
I'm amazed at His forgiveness
He corrects and disciplines

I'm amazed at how He chose me
To use me for His plan
I don't deserve his mercy
I'm merely just a man

I don't know why He picked me
I'm not fit to call Him Lord
I guess I'll never understand
The sovereignty of God

Yet one thing I have realised
It makes me more enthralled
He doesn't call the qualified
He qualifies the called